"What a shame the future bring?", Or a few words about the types and categories of the concept of "shame"
Today we decided to talk to you about the feeling of shame. Oh, it was the same time when the shame - a "heave soul" by definition N. Ancharova writer, was not known to our great-great-grandparents. But Adam and Eve, according to the beliefs of the Christian religion, not only were the first representatives of the human race, but also enriched it is the shame of humanity.
The guys tried the apple from the tree of knowledge, and the first thing they knew, this turned out to be the most shame. Since then, the shame has become very important for the social animal, the name of that man. Today we will talk with you about some of the types and categories of shame and of what we are ashamed of, and most often. So, we present to you four categories of shame.
confluence - the inability of a person to feel that exist between the people of the border. That is, in other words, the word "confluence" means "fusion". For example, in a family in which everything is based on similarity, sameness and merger can survive just the same thinking, adhering to the rules common to all, "not being put out" from the crowd. Just like the former Soviet Union, where all were one - almost the same clothes, the salary, the house and the furniture, typical architecture, typical thoughts and moral values, and to stand out from the crowd, not to be like everyone else, it was indecent and shameful. Thus, confluent shame - it's a shame to be yourself and be different from others, it is a shame to be rejected "right" and the ordinary, such as all people. This fear is akin to terror and in the knowledge that you're not like everyone else, a nightmare awareness of their own otherness.
introjectively shame is local, so to speak, in nature. It is associated with certain rules of behavior, stereotypes, attitudes - that is, introjects, which we have been taught, usually in childhood. Hence the name of this category of shame. These settings appear familiar to us from childhood and favorite words our parents "must", "should" and "can not". Remember, "you have to be a good boy," "should be brought up girl", "can not behave this way on the street (at a party, in kindergarten, in school)," "you have to please her father and mother?"
introjectively shame we feel for non-compliance by any standards, and it is inextricably linked to specific events or circumstances. That is a shame not to do what is necessary, and ashamed to do what is impossible. But introjectively shame can be fairly easy to stop testing. It is necessary to match the settings to start and all, no shame. That is, it was the brought-up girl or boy became polite, and at the same time automatically get rid of shame.
The projective shame
This category of shame is manifested in our minds that someone will have to something to condemn. That is, we have no precise evidence that, for example, our colleague will have for something to condemn, but a sense of shame when they met with him still there. This is how children pick up in the absence of parents in father's library and considered "indecent" pictures of adult books, which are not a hundred percent sure, but it seems that now comes my mother and always will be their shame and the blame for this prank. Thus, in the projective sense of shame, we see outside only what we have inside. If children know from somewhere that consider such images is not good, they are projecting this knowledge to parents, who can catch them in the act and scold or shame (although the reality may be quite different), so in advance feel ashamed.
This is a shame, in which the shifting boundary between the individual and the environment in the direction of their own "I", accompanied by a strong bodily reactions. That is, there is a turn on itself, and sometimes a sense of shame, turned on himself, can be so intense and so much that the body responds to his attack of a panic attack. So what are we ashamed of the most?
The shame of failure
In the past this kind of shame was probably inherent in men, when ashamed of what you did not win, was weak, unable to perform a particular task. Today, in the era of gender equality, the shame of failure are equally affected by both men and women. This kind of shame associated with our internal requirements for themselves, and, if these requirements are "through the roof", the non-fulfillment sense of burning shame guaranteed.
The shame of sexual arousal
Sometimes acknowledge his sexual arousal is a great shame, and only to be caught in the instituting even more so. Often unrealized sexual excitement manifests itself in condemning, in projecting it on someone else. "Get out, get out, Masha went to the shiftless, again with a new cavalier!" - a typical example of such unrealized excitation and internal shame, projected on a shiftless Masha.
Shame of physical and moral weakness of
I am ashamed and afraid that someone will notice our physical or mental vulnerability. The reason for that protrudes installation that weaknesses are not wanted, and not interested in anything other than contempt, we do not cause others. And if suddenly someone noticed weakness in himself, it must be sure to hide from others and quickly overcome, until you are caught and pulled out your weakness your outside.