How to learn to say "no"

How to learn to say

Refuse to another person is always difficult, and many of us take a commitment, which would like to avoid. Sometimes we agree out of politeness, but sometimes we just do not know how to refuse a man. Human nature is such that we want to please other people, want to be kind and pleasant.

In many cases, the inability to say "no" can become a problem due to the fact that we forget about themselves and their needs, while trying not to hurt someone's feelings. If you are afraid to refuse, in most cases, you are doing yourself a disservice. Important for you to prioritize. Agreeing on everything, you risk a burn. Since refuse someone without offending him? Here are a few tips on how to do so politely and tactfully.

How to learn to say

1. Use the word "No".

Use the "no", "not this time", instead of "I do not think so," "I'm not sure," "Maybe next time." The word "no" has incredible power. Use it if you are absolutely sure and confident that no other answer can not be. And no need to apologize for your answer. Practice saying the word "no", until you feel comfortable saying it.

2. Use strong but polite options.

I appreciate your time, but no thanks.

Thank you for thinking of me, but my plate is already full.

No thanks!

Not today, thank you.

Not for me, thank you.

I'm afraid I can not.

I'm not really interested in yoga / hard rock / computer games, but thanks for asking.

I do not want.

I think I'll give up.

3. Do not cheat.

This applies to family, friends and even your boss. You do not need all the time to invent some elaborate ploy - just say you do not want. If you do not want to go to the event because you had a hard week, and you probably stay home and watch TV, just say so. It is not necessary to invent a dying grandmother, to make your defense more acceptable. 4. Do not go on to explain.

In some cases it is better not to go into details. If you start too hard to justify, it would seem that you're lying, or it will allow the one who asks you, and find workarounds to get you to agree.

5. Do not be afraid to say it twice.

Some people do not respect other people's boundaries, or are used to, that person shall, if asked again. It is not necessary to give in just because someone is too insistent. Polite smile, and then say "No", even harder than the first time.

How to learn to say

6. If you want, say "because".

Studies have shown that the word "because" causes people to agree with you, even if the cause is totally absurd. Instead of saying, "Sorry, I can not organize a meeting", try to give a reason to soften the refusal.

7. Smile and shake his head.

You can resort to this before leaving. It works when people on the street handing out flyers or trying to get you to sign something.

8. Be adamant.

Imagine that you - the person who controls the situation. Establish eye contact and speak clearly. It is not necessary to mutter to himself, his refusal. This is especially important when you feel that you want to use to their advantage.

9. Do not take free samples.

We tend to reciprocate when we need something give. If you try cheese tasting at the supermarket, and she convinces you to buy it, you will soon see, if I had not begun to try it.

10. If you are told to jump out of the window, you do this?

It is easy to fall into the trap of the phrase "Yes," because others also say "Yes". Do not do this.

How to learn to say

11. Remind yourself that you it will cost.

What you lose by agreeing to? Time, money, health? Nothing is a given. 12. Trust your intuition.

Your intuition rarely fails you. If you feel that something is wrong, listen to your instincts and say "No".

13. Offer an alternative.

This is especially useful at work when you do not want to be considered a person who always refuses.

If you are too busy to take on some task, we would like to perform in the future, you can say that: "I can not help you with this project right now, but I'd be glad to look at it in the next month, when I Bole is free. "

14. to entrust to someone.

If you want to deny someone something, but you know someone who would agree to share this information. "I'm afraid I can not help you with the organization of the festival, but I know that Anna has been baking cakes, maybe ask her?"

But do not use this as an excuse to con people, you do not like or you will pass for a bastard.

15. Arrange.

If you are ready to meet, you can try to negotiate. This will take the request without giving directly. We can ask to reduce the number of instructions to ask for a longer period to do work or to divide the work to someone else.

How to deny a request

How to learn to say

16. Do not delay.

It makes no sense to force a person to wait for an answer, if you know what the answer is no. Delay in response only aggravates the situation. Not govoil "I'll think about it," if you do not intend to do so.

17. You can change your answer.

Once you agree, it does not mean that you should always do it.

18. Most repeat it.

Not so devil as he is painted. The more you practice, the less scary it becomes. Begin to deny everything that does not attach any value to your life. 19. What a pity!

When you say "I'm sorry, I can not", although it softens your message and makes it polite, it sounds rather vague. Better to say, "What a pity, I would like to help, but I have an appointment with .... I wish you good luck."

20. The desire to please.

We often disagree with something that does not have a primary role, because we do not want people to think badly about us. However, some people in any case will think bad about us, no matter how polite you are. Therefore, stop worrying about what other people think and say finally, "No".

How to learn to say

21. Be ahead of the request.

When you learn to give up, you will begin early to say "No" before the requested there. If you think that your friend is going to invite you to the wedding, tell him that you're broke.

22. Avoid people who are always something to ask.

If you know someone who constantly asks for money, never returning them to avoid it, especially when you know that it is just such a time.

23. White Lies.

Of course, in most cases, you need to tell the truth, but sometimes you have to be creative with the answer. For example, if you know that your grandmother will try to persuade you to eat her cakes, tell her that the doctor has forbidden you to eat flour, if you do not want to hurt her. If the grandmother is very persistent, return to the board number 2.

24. Not now.

It should use this response only if you know exactly what you'll consider the request later. For example, you can say that consider this issue, when you return a week later. If the request is not urgent, do not drop everything and say that he would take over the job as soon as you finish your project.

How beautifully and intelligently reject

How to learn to say

25. It's not you, it's me. Use this phrase if you feel that the idea / person / event is more suitable to someone else, but that someone - not you. Also you can say that you do not fit.

26. It is not in me and in you.

Turn that phrase and do not be afraid to say a firm "No", if you believe in it. For example, if you are a vegetarian and do not want "a little bit" to try the meat cooked to your aunt, say, "Thank you, but you know that I'm a vegetarian and never try it." Spend the border when necessary, and people will respect your choice.

27. Be sympathetic.

Sometimes all you need is empathy to another person. For example, "I know it's frustrating, but I can not, I'm sorry."

28. You do not need all the time to be nice.

You need permission to refuse, because you do not want? Consider that you have given him.

29. State your inconvenience.

If a friend asks you to borrow money, say something like: "I do not like to borrow money, I'm sorry."

How do I refuse to work

How to learn to say

30. I would like to help you.

Sometimes you need to be softer. "I'd like to help you with the project, but I'm swamped with work this week."

31. Thank you, but no.

Sometimes, that's all you need to say. Or you can say the above sentence to soften the answer. Thus, you thank the person for what he is asked to you, politely refusing him.

32. Use facial expressions and gestures.

Shaking his head, lift the eyebrows, and sometimes you can and roll his eyes. Use body language to show that you mean business, even when politely refuse.

33. Win time.

To resort to this as a last resort, otherwise the risk that you are inundated with requests later. You're just delaying the inevitable, but if you can help it, can say: "Let me think about it", "I'll check my schedule and I'll say." 34. I'm flattered, but no thanks.

Sometimes you have to be grateful for what people ask you about something. For example, you are offered a promotion at work, but you do not want this.

35. I really should not.

This response is suitable for occasions when you want to say "yes", but I think you have to give up. For example, when you make a surprise gift. When you say it, people are likely to respond to you took it without hesitation.

How to learn to say

36. Not for anything in the world!

This phrase should be used with caution, and it is possible only with your friends.

37. I said, "No".

This works in the case of children or stubborn consultants. Again you have to be polite, but firm.

38. This is not the best option.

It is a gentle way to say "No" when, for example, you are asked "Do Fits me this neon dress?". Instead of having to respond sharply, say that this is not the best color and worth to try on a blue dress.

39. Mmm, no (followed by laughter)

Use this phrase carefully, for example, when someone asks you to work for free or trying to insult you.

40. I know that you should not trust in this response.

It is important to recognize the feelings of another person, and this response will help to soften the refusal. If you know what people expect from you what you can not do, say "No" and say this phrase.

How do I tactfully refuse

41. The last time was perfect.

Sometimes you have to give up, even if you used to say "yes." The best thing to do is to confirm that, although you and enjoyed the last time, this time you can not do that.

42. Prioritize.

If you are given a job that you do not have time, and the failure is not accepted, ask, from what you have to give. "Sounds interesting, I'd love to do it, but it does mean that I can not write a report by Friday. So you want me to do first?" 43. How kind of you.

If your mother in law wants to give you a bustling holiday's birthday, and you prefer to just relax with close friends, be grateful, but refuse. "How kind of you, but I've already planned to go with friends to sit in a cafe."

44. Be less available.

Do not let your phone all in a row, except for friends and family. Ask people to send you a message, not to call. Reduce the number of friends on social networks.

45. It's impossible.

Perhaps it is impossible - this is the magic word. However, use this phrase with confidence, and you do not have to say anything more.

46. ​​What an honor for me.

For example, if you were asked to give a speech at a wedding or to become a godmother, and you do not want to seem rude, use this phrase.

"It is an honor for me, but since I do not like to speak in public, I can not cope with this role as it should, and I'm afraid that let you down. Can you ask someone else?".