Relationships - Trust
In interpersonal relationships, especially if the relationship between a man and a woman, there are certain key points, as a result of ignoring or not that sooner or later, the union will fall apart like a house of cards.
Harmonious interaction between two people is determined by a magnificent trio of respect, kindness and trust. The last set with a person, as a rule, is quite difficult. But if you succeed, you can safely consider yourself a master in the field of sociability.
I can not wait to see how it is possible to gain confidence and learn to trust yourself? Hunting season on an elusive substance declare open!
The word "trust" - a direct descendant of the concept of "faith" and the prefix "up to" is in the nature of manifestation of the deepest location to any person, as well as the establishment, activity or an abstract concept (eg, trust rumors, intuition, your own feelings and so forth.) .
The degree of openness of the people are different: someone believes all and sundry, without discrimination; someone - anyone at all. Trust also - is the golden mean between two extremes.
This is the key that allows you to get it is not easy to look with one eye in the human world, to provide you with the sign of the favor in the form of exposing their secrets and mental anguish imposed on you hope. It gives an opportunity not just open the door to where the entrance is allowed very little and stay in the garden of internal passions, on the territory of the owner last long.
If not, this will save the key from prying eyes and hands, or even worse, lose - to pick up the other can not, no matter how hard you try. And duplicate nobody will hand over. In confirmation of this famous aphorism, from the pen of the Greek poet Publius Syrah: "Lost trust is like a lost life - it is transient." As in cooking any dish is very important to follow the recipe, contains strict norms required number of products and the trust exerted around the main - to observe moderation. We have already mentioned two kinds of deviations from the recommended standards in the field of openness. Let us consider them in more detail: it is necessary to ensure that in the future not to make mistakes and, thus, to avoid negative consequences.
Giperdoverie or credulity - this form of openness always leads to trouble. "Gullibility have partly the result of mental laziness: to rid yourself of the tedious research. People prefer to believe in the word, "- says the French scientist and philosopher Claude Adrian Gelvetsky.
The ultimate example: you, being in search of work, record for an interview at a company that offers training, career development, salary stunning - in short, all thirty three pleasures. But at the moment directly meeting with a potential employer found out, that hides another pyramid scheme under the guise of a superior job assistant or account manager.
Why was it necessary to go to the other end of town, to cancel the trip to the guests to cook it .. Themselves to blame, "punched" to the company name through a search engine, would have inquired with the help of friends, acquaintances - would not lose any time on the trip, no matter? waiting in vain. Say thank you, that the money remained intact!
Similarly, in personal relationships with people. Only here the consequences could be much more serious - in a negative way, of course.
An intermediate position between credulity and trust actually takes credulity. This quality allows a person to open is not to everyone, but only to subjects who have shown kindness and external managed to "unleash the language" and therefore open up the door of the soul of such a person.
The credulity of human nature as the property also does not lead to anything good. Believe EA Sevrusu, who wrote: "unwary - a source of unnecessary trouble."
But Adrian Dekursel expressed at one time thought of that, and I quote: "The credulity - distrust of the mother." So it really is. Relying on certain people, make you feel peace to his location, it is very easy to make a mistake and then experience the pain of betrayal and deception. If such disappointment will be repeated regularly, at some point you say to yourself, "That's it! Basta! "- and will continue to blow on the water, scalded with milk. While someone is enough and a single fold.
Distrust manifested in isolation, private person from others. Outwardly it may seem like taciturnity, "volkovatost" some detachment, reluctance to speak on certain topics, vigilant control over the preservation of distance in relation to the surrounding his person, avoiding responses to personal questions, and so on.
But no need incredulous subjects "without trial" to make black list: they can be sensitive people and wonderful companions. The reason lies in their past, in the distant childhood family situation, the commitment of the parent stereotypes - there still so little what!
Your task - to arrange for the person himself so that he himself, without any pressure with your hand, you opened the door of his own soul - of course, if you are interested in this.
The first rule that you need to remember and apply in their daily lives, is as follows: a man, a personal statement currently do not tell, or, on the contrary, tells all, no one ever does not trust. In the first case you openly demonstrate their own exactly the same distrust, the mathematical principle of "minus by minus gives plus" in relations has no force. Exposing themselves as fully show, leaving no secrets, you zarekomenduete himself as being unreliable and dishonest. Well, as you can entrust something to the subject, if it is the inside story of their own can not keep a secret? The second rule - the rule of three "no": do not rush, do not push, do not show an obsession. Why? Good question, and the answer is exhaustive:
• Do not rush - rush, as we know, is needed when catching fleas, and in the process of gaining someone's trust should be gradually.
• Do not push - your assault will lead to the opposite result: instead of being open, people will close even more.
• Do not be intrusive - just because one more molestation to her did not have. She's annoying, tired from her, showing her escape.
Rule №3 - stay calm. Even if you are already on your nerves distrust man, even though you are convinced that proved to be the best side that has any other would be opened to you many times. Restraint and sensitivity - this is the basis of your conduct, since you really want to achieve the desired result.
Last, but, in principle, the overriding point: before waiting confidence from someone, learn to trust yourself. That Austrian critic Samuel Johnson so sure: "Trust in yourself - the first prerequisite of great undertakings." If you are not sure that they are able to ensure the safety of personal information, not intended for others' ears, as then to be able to save other people's secrets confidential and justify other people's expectations?
I think, not less interest you, dear readers, will cause the recommendation on "How to learn to trust others?". If you are faced with lies, betrayal experienced and believe that it is better to keep their problems to themselves, to live according to the principle of "self-help" - stuff listed tips for you. 1. Never Row absolutely all people with the same brush. It is clear that he was disappointed in an expensive person you guard against establishing close contact with someone else in order to avoid a repetition of history. But it is necessary to cut off the negative emotions and sensations: no one to blame for your bad luck to good people. It just so happens - that's all. And life goes on ...
2. Try to understand the reasons for their distrust of others. Think carefully and fix them on paper, and then look at the resulting list of third-party observer eyes and try to find possible solutions. Then burn a piece of a candle flame, develop the ashes to the wind. Fire - a symbol of destruction and purification simultaneously. Repeat this procedure as many times as needed to fully get rid of mistrust.
3. Result placheven chronic distrust. Locking his soul one hundred castles, erecting between themselves and the outside world - the world of people a blank wall, you risk becoming a hermit. Loneliness - what could be worse for a person? "People can not be alone: gather in flocks, build their city ..." - sung in the famous hit K. Meladze, "Turn around." How to disagree with this?
4. Put a cross on the negative experiences of the past, if your reasons for disbelief are in it. Start a new leaf. It is difficult, but with a strong will and desire to change their existence possible. Life lesson, even if it appears as a "carrot" rather than "stick" for something you need. Maybe, just for joining later in the streak after a series of disappointments and pain tempered, acutely feel the sweetness new, positive change. "Not bad will know - to know and not good", remember ..? 5. If people trust you, you can not reflect more on how to lend credibility to the subject. More Moritz Ferdinand Schmalz stated: "The trust builds trust." For some reason, the choice fell on you, you probably have certain qualities that are conducive to trust, but were not even aware of their existence to this day. You no longer need to look for the one who could be open - this man found you myself.
To fully understand the meaning given to the word "trust", we turn to the esoteric. In a deck of Tarot cards to him corresponds to lasso "Star" - a symbol also promises hope, unexpected help, insight and good prospects. Conclusion: The special revelation particular person giving the advice of your own intuition. Sometimes the inner voice is reasonable logic.
The system cartomancy great Frenchwoman Marie Lenormand card, symbolizing the trust - it №13, "child". But there she and additional values such as purity of intentions, innocence, inexperience. It turns out that the trust, according to the views of the famous fortune teller, has its roots in childhood - the start of life.
trust someone, we become more vulnerable, defenseless in the face of reality - like children. But at the same time childlike features, it attracts - and not always negative people.
trust problem requires a specific approach, a mandatory presence of tact and loyalty. Those who are tormented by the question "? Trust a certain person, or to wait," should take into account the statement of the foreign psychologist Jack R. Gibb: "Trust - is the result of successfully gone through the risk." And who does not risk, that, as we know, does not win! Nadezhda Ponomarenko, especially for our website